Leaps of Faith

There's too many things I haven't done yet
There's too many sunsets
I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
You would've thought by now
I'd have learned something

I made up my mind when I was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
[...]
But surely something has got to, got to give
Cause I can't keep waiting to live" - Sara Bareilles lyrics


My last week in Cape Town went by much too fast! It was a rainy, cold one, which made the realization that I would be leaving soon even more acute and melancholic. I visited JWT to catch up with my ex-coworkers before leaving again, I tried to take photos, I went to some museums (District 6, the Jewish Museum, the Art Museum, etc) and generally tried to soak up the city I so enjoy! On Tuesday, Mel and I returned to the bar I wrote about in an earlier post, the one with the mind-blowing cocktail! Tuesdays are jazz nights and I cannot overstate how nice it was to sip a deliscious drink by a fireplace while listening to a great local jazz band above the hushed murmors of the other patrons. I was almost in a contentment coma.

One of the most memorable events of this week (and the trip as a whole) was my visit to Mzoli's, a well-known butchery and restaurant in a township on the outskirts of Cape Town. I was lucky enough to go there with some friends I had made working last summer, which presented an incredible opportunity for my naive, tourist self! No tourists venture into the townships alone and, since I have categorically refused to go on the township tours that I believe dehumanize the local population, I didn't really have a way to travel to that part of the outskirts. Luckily, this situation came up, and a very large group of us gathered to go there for lunch on my last Saturday! Needless to say, the atmosphere was hectic...cars parked everywhere, people dancing in the street, the tables at the outdoor eating area crowded with food and beer, music blasting from the corner and competing with the radios from cars along the street, and a very high concentration of people in a relatively small space. The energy was hectic but vibrant! Needless to say I was one of three white people anywhere within eyesight! The meat took a very long time to cook and came out in two large bowls, from which we each picked our favorite pieces with our hands, to be eaten with bread and sipped down with a bottle of South African beer! I don't think I have ever had such a communal eating experience!! I have to admit that the sensory experience was a tad overwhelming and I was acutely aware that some people found my presence there somewhat strange/confusing, but I was surrounded by friendly faces, loud laughter, and frantic dancing so, on the whole, I was happy!

Finally, the morning of my flight to NY (by way of Dubai, Milan, and London) I went sky diving with Ajay. I will pause to give you all a moment to re-read the previous sentence, since yes, we all know that I have a deadly fear of heights. (...) Now that we're back, YES, I did it!! For those of you who are not familiar with the story behind this idea, it started the summer of 2006 when, armed with little more than fierce determination, a nervous stomach, and a glint in my eye, I set out for Interlaken, Switzerland with the intention of conquering my fears. Cliche aside, that weekend, I ended up rafting (and swimming...and almost drowning) in Category 4 rapids and Canyoning, which essentially comprised a constant test of everything I was afraid of doing, from rapelling down a 50 foot rockface, to jumping into a waterfall 20 ft down, to swinging around a cliff by a harness. Long story, short, that weekend sparked a very genuine desire to question and challenge and search....how did I expect myself to extend my limits academically, professionally, intellectually, emotionally, if I always held back when it came to physical risk? In the end, that brief weekend did turn out to be revolutionary in that it (quite literally) plunged me far beyond my comfort zone..having survived, pushing myself beyond those boundaries would become progressively easier over the next three years. However, I have to admit that on that sunny and beautiful Sunday morning in Cape Town, I was still entirely vulnerable and unprepared. Three of us were jumping on this particular flight and I, for a mix of logical reasons and fear, had volunteered to go first. We loaded the tiny airplane and slowly, steadily ascended to 9,000 feet....we could see the whole of Table Mountain to one side and the expanse of the ocean stretching out before us on the other. Suddenly, I felt complete and total panic and quite seriously asked my tandem instuctor how much it would cost me if I just went for the scenic plane ride!!! (it's ok to laugh at this point) And then, my favorite moment of the day occurred. Forget the actual falling, forget the wonderful parachuting....all the adrenaline of those moments pales in comparison to the single instant in which I looked down, closed my eyes, and searched for some kind of inner voice to reassure me....when I looked up two seconds later, I was ready: no little airplane, no long fall to the ground, no shaky parachute was about to get in the way of me stepping up to the plate and overpowering my worst fear by sheer will. I moved myself over to the side of the airplane, hung my legs from the side and, without hesitation, fell forward. Go big or go home (or I guess in my case, go big and go home). And so yes, we jumped!! After the first three seconds, in which I must admit, I thought I was on the verge of cardiac arrest, my body settled into the pull of gravity, my hands relaxed and I stopped holding on to my own backpack for dear life (clearly this was not a rational strategy to begin with). About 7 minutes and some parachute tricks and spins later, we landed!! I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief even now!!! In the end, I have no plans of sky diving again in the near future, but I am even more assured that the things that frighten us are precisely those that should be faced. When do we learn as much as when we take a risk and step beyond the deliniations of our comfort zone??

Ajay and I caught a (cramped) ride with a random German and some loal South Africans and made our way back to the city, stopping in gorgeous Bloubergstrand (blue mounatin beach) for some lunch. Back at the apartment I showered, finished packing, said goodbye to the girls, and headed to the airport...with, I might add, a TWO day commute ahead of me!